Chucking it In

I was tempted to title this blog 'At Last I am Free' but the Robert Wyatt reference is perhaps a little over considered. 'Chucking it In' could be a Dr Feelgood album title, and feels slightly earthier; more Canvey, more me. Yes, so I've finally chucked it in, after twenty seven years at the university enough suddenly became enough, the camels back bent one bit too far, the end of tether was reached, and, thank goodness, they let me go.

I may not have the severance package exactly in my pocket yet, but the dopamine levels certainly shift upward. I smile in the street. People use the word 'elated'; like you must be 'elated'. They use the word freedom a lot too. I'm not sure exactly what I feel personally, all I've noticed is that propensity to smile in the street and a sudden recognition of records that suddenly seem highly appropriate in a way they never did before; Ramble On, Freebird, Further on up the Road; all these have acquired new significance as if made exactly for me, and when they suddenly crop up in one pub or another, it's as if the gods are smiling on me personally.

Why did I do it? is it time of life or time of man? Both. We have to build our house in Wales or we will never do it. Meanwhile, education is being decimated by both technology and endless stupidity. This, of course, a consequence of capitalism/consumerism/call it what you like; but over all it has become impossible to render the spade as a spade, or accept the shovel, the chance to shine becoming the endless pursuit of so called innovation, with the product the equivalent of extravagant Christmas decorations; useless and trivial. 

I supposed for a long time I've functioned as some kind of hand brake on my own institution's fantasies, but brake pads eventually fade. Now I look at that long list of posts floating in on Facebook; lovely stuff from students complimentary on this or that. That makes me smile too, but I know now, it's time to fly away, yes, Fly Like an Eagle, that's it, just like that.